A week-long flare of some symptoms and the struggle of guilt

So the last week of August I had a relapse of my noise sensitivity, vertigo, and POTS symptoms. The vertigo was so bad I didn’t move my head if I could help it because it’d cause so much sickness just to move it. The noise sensitivity was so bad even the sound of the A/C or normal ticks that houses make was excrutiating. I spent most of the weekdays in silence with earplugs (at my house).  I’m on LDN now. I should have documented when I started it again. My memory is not so good lately. My work-from-bed job zaps my brain power and then I don’t have much brains left for much else.

The LDN is helping. I try to skip it a couple or few times a week because I think it stays more effective that way / my body doesn’t get as used to it. It’s not helping as much as it used to when I first started taking it but my life is still much better with it.

Currently today I’ve been struggling with guilt from not being able to get as much done as I’d like to. If I were able bodied my house would be tidier and my to-do list would be shorter but instead my to-do list keeps piling up. I KNOW I’m a high acheiver but sometimes it’s hard to feel like it when I can’t get anything done. I struggle so much just to get through my “work day” and when I’m done I think, You mean there’s more I have to do?? Just getting myself ready for bed is a huge marathon and ritual.

I’m a pretty happy person otherwise. I find so much pleasure in the small things. Very grateful just to BE ALIVE! 🙂 🙂

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